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Monday, March 18, 2013

Life Unexpected

It was a typical drizzly night. I sat on the sofa together with Lux, my daughter, talking about something that made me interrogative for marrying Ryan on the next day. I had Lux when I was xvi. It incessantlyy last(predicate) happened on night I slept with a popular signal c completelyer in my high school, Baze, after a dance society we had. I regretted it. It was my humongous mistake ever. When I k today that I was pregnant, I felt scared. Confusion, sadness, humiliation combined and came with one conclusion. after I discharged from the hospital, I gave her to the foster care. I couldnt imagine how I could be a mom at sixteen. My dad died when I was seven. My mom was an alcoholic. I was desperate for reassurance. And now, sixteen years later, she came back to me after searching for me in umteen years. I couldnt disavow it anymore. She was my daughter, a gift from God. I have an obligation on her. Starting from that day, I contend my role as a mother. I tried my shell for loving her, taking care of her, treating her like all she ever cherished before. But all my effort seemed worthless. She kept blaming me for what in the past, pushing me away, and torturing me with her stinging words. I couldnt pardon myself either. She was only a girl who needed an attention from her parents all these cartridge holders unless she didnt get it instead.

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After several(prenominal) months passed, she started to accept me, treating me like a mother. I was so grateful, but only one thing I ever wanted but she couldnt do until now. She couldnt even promise me a Mom. Maybe it would take a long time for her to fit in her new atmosphere.
Cate, did you talked to Baze? She asked.
I lifted my pass looking her, No, I didnt. I sighed.
Why? She demanded. Cate, he loves you. I know that. He told me everything, his feelings for you. I know that mystical in the bottom of your heart, you feel the same. If Ryan is the problem now, I leave behind talk to him. He would understand this situation. Please? Go, tell Baze. I am pretty sure he is waiting for you now.
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